Eff's Rambles (Archive)

12/12/2005

Three years and the last week

I have decided to end this blog. By the twentieth of December, it shall be deleted, and I shall save none of the content. I have come to accept somethings, about others and myself, at least enough to know that this is the right decision. So if I have regular readers, or if you are just curious, save what you want to.

Bye.

11 Comments:

  • That's a real shame, but I can understand when you get to the stage when you don't see the point of it anymore. Although I don't know your reasons for discontinuing, it seems sad that you will not keep the content just for the sake of personal history.
    Anyway, all the best to you in the future.

    By Blogger deviousdiva, at 12/13/2005 02:25:00 AM  

  • Thanks.

    Keeping this blog could entice me to resume. But its presence would cause me discomfort. Simply put, I am unsatisfied with the level of interest and responses. For a personal reason that kind of thing is very important to me, perhaps more than the average person. I know ways I could improve interest, but I have no drive to join blog rings, use blogrollers, spam every other blog, nor ask everyone to link to me. And I would not be me if I changed my style of writing and choice of subjects. I think it is simply easier to move on. In one final bit of ego, other than the sort of ironic one of ending something because I do not feel I am being given enough attention, I am allowing anyone that wants to a final chance to take the content here and do with it as they please. The only thing I have saved are the links.

    By Blogger Eff, at 12/13/2005 07:48:00 AM  

  • I don't think it is at all unusual to want to be noticed or get attention through a blog. I posted once about this being one of the root causes for having a blog in the first place. (that and to make money)I started my blog as you know with the specific intention of raising awareness of issues and it took me quite some time to recover from the first three months with only 10 comments. If I was writing about myself or my thoughts I think I would have been much more upset though. It is hard not to take it personally. The bottom line is that (and I'm sure you know this) unless you do use links, blogrolls, comments on other peoples blogs etc it's almost impossible to get noticed. We are all pretty insignificant in the blog world!

    Basically, what I am saying is we all have an ego and it is painful to feel ignored. This is human. However, I read loads of blogs (including yours)on a regular basis that I don't comment on. Why don't I comment?
    1: I don't have a clue what to say.
    2: It has all been said better.
    3: I don't have time.
    4: What I have to say is irrelevent.
    5: Maybe people don't care what I have to say.
    6: Lack of confidence in my ability to answer.
    7: The subject makes me too angry to comment without resorting to insults.

    This is generally about my blogging behaviour not you and your blog. Your blog generally falls into the number 1 category. You generally write about concepts and ideas. I tend to respond to things that are more about feelings and emotions. This is no relection on you. That's how I am.

    Oh my god, I'm rambling now. Apologies. Anyway, like I said before, I completely respect your decision to end this blog and wish you well. (If you change your mind, I will carry on reading although I can't promise I can change my comment habits)
    DD

    By Blogger deviousdiva, at 12/13/2005 10:34:00 AM  

  • Eff...I removed your link from my blog although I didn't really want to do it. To completely delete your blog and all 3 years of your thoughts is a really drastic measure IMHO.

    Like Diva, I always read your blog but don't comment that often for some of the same reasons she listed along with the fact that I sometimes don't relate to the topic. ie., american political figures. Before I comment, I at least have to be cognizant of the topics otherwise, what's the point of commenting?

    I can understand your frustration at not getting enough comments...on the first blogs I wrote, I got ZERO comments and I put a hell of a lot of research and thought into writing them. But in the end, I write the blog for me. If other people read it, that makes me happy, if they don't--I know I'll keep writing. I often use my own blogs as references for new ones that I write and I feel quite a bit of satisfaction to know that what I've predicted or surmised is often corroborated in later news items.

    To throw away an entire blog is like throwing away old photographs...if for nothing else, save it for sentimental reasons. You might like to read your own thoughts 10 years down the road.

    I really hope you reconsider it but if you don't, I really do understand...I don't agree but I do understand. :-)

    By Blogger The SeaWitch, at 12/13/2005 02:36:00 PM  

  • Thanks for the support.

    Well, all of what you have said is possibly true for many people, Diva and Sea. But I think the problem for me is that I have not felt much pleasure in writing for myself.

    This blog is mainly a kind of philosophical outlet for me. I have posted short, and not so short, commentaries on guns, journalism, truth, ethics, reasoning, and so forth. I did not expect certain persons to post in certain places.
    I just hoped for more.

    There are some that have central themes and daily posts. Mine does not. One thing I struggle with is figuring out what people think by their silence. It could be good in the sense that they feel my argument cannot be bettered, or it could be that they think I am set in my ways and cannot be reasoned with. Perhaps my grammar is bad (it often is), or overly complicated.

    I could go the blogrolling, etc., route, but I think it would only disappoint me to have passerby comments. If I stay it would be intentionally in a small setting.

    Actually, I rarely research. I don't enjoy it, so I often write generally and in hypotheticals.

    I like to think of my way of thinking as unique, or at least peculiar.

    I plan to delete the blog by about 11:30 pm Eastern US time on the 19th. Even if I wanted to keep it past then, at this point I would feel shame over such melodrama as changing my mind now or at the last second. Until then, the posts remain for anyone that wants to review them in their spare time. What they do with them is their choice.

    I suppose this is drastic, but I see this as being cyclical, and I do not want to go through the bad cycles again. For me, when I twice asked that my archive be revied and saw that it aparrently was not, and that my guest book be signed, which it has not, that spoke enough for me. It will be 3 years of a lot of lost memories, but also of a lot of disappointment.

    By Blogger Eff, at 12/13/2005 05:05:00 PM  

  • Eff,

    With all sincerity, are you all right? I do understand being disappointed in a long, winding heartfelt venture, though your words are so, so melancholic. Are you clinically depressed? Is your life outside of this thing happy? Please forgive my imposition as I am not interested in simply being nosey. I am concerned about you after reading some of this. If all is truly well and this is simply your normal affect with a heaping of disappointment, then I wholeheartedly apologize. Please let me know. You can email me if you like.

    ethnocentrist@yahoo.com

    By Blogger Ethnocentrist, at 12/15/2005 01:22:00 AM  

  • I have confidants whom I am satisfied with. But I thank you for the offer.

    Like many people I do have issues of depression, but the details of that I prefer to keep private.

    As for whether or not my reaction is normal for me, I am not sure, but the situation is not new.

    By Blogger Eff, at 12/15/2005 04:19:00 AM  

  • Along with the others, I think you should keep your archives, but then it is up to you. I know it is frustrating to make philosophical posts and not garner much discussion, but honestly, in the blog world, even where there is discussion it is so often just - I don't know - shallow, supportive to one view, etc. I think the only discussions I've seen that show boldly both sides and how deep the issues are are on blogs like DDs where immigration comes up, hotplate issues like that.

    I haven't been reading or commenting on blogs lately as much as I'd like, but like DD said, there are often reasons why I don't comment, even if I read something. If the post is something deep and philosophical, I am less inclined to comment if I can't take the time to comment well.

    At any rate, I removed you from my links, but with a heavy heart. Hope to still see you around here and there, though.

    By Blogger melusina, at 12/15/2005 12:11:00 PM  

  • An alternative is being considered.

    By Blogger Eff, at 12/15/2005 04:49:00 PM  

  • Ooh, an alternative? Now you tease us! Look forward to it.

    By Blogger deviousdiva, at 12/16/2005 08:01:00 AM  

  • I am not sure this is going to go through.

    By Blogger Eff, at 12/16/2005 01:48:00 PM  

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